Blessings

Just to warn you, this is going to be a long-winded, possibly slightly rambling post...I've got a lot to say! This week has kinda been one of those weeks...I am sick (again...4th time in the past 5 months). I haven't had much of a voice since about Tuesday - I kind of sound like a raspy old lady with a very stuffy nose today, but earlier this week oooh buddy it was bad. So I just got over a cold/sinus infection/who knows a few weeks ago, and all of this hit me again and to say the least I was not a very happy camper when it did. I haven't gotten a lot of sleep (which will make one very cranky indeed) this week because when I try to go to sleep I generally start coughing a lot (God love my poor roommate who has to put up with it all). Ok, I really am going somewhere with this, just bear with me for a minute. About Wednesday night/Thursday morning, I got really really discouraged and just down in the dumps, primarily since I've been so sick this winter. I've been to the doctor 4 times, taken 3 different rounds of antibiotics, had some tests done...nothing. It gets better for a few weeks and then seems to come back. Perhaps it's just I have really crappy allergies this year. I don't know, I'm not a doctor, I don't pretend to know what the heck is really going on. I'm taking all the fun over the counter meds now and slowly slowly getting better. Okay, here's where this story has a point. While I've been all down in the dumps this week, God has spoken to me very loudly through some of my favorite people in my life. The same people he generally uses to speak to me through. First was Kasee. She told me a story yesterday about someone she heard about who has cancer and is just totally using the opportunity to completely glorify God. She was telling me this story yesterday and I said, "It's stories like that and people like that that just really inspire me!" Didn't think too much of it until today on my way home. I was in a BAD mood today, I admit it. Just totally grumpy because I'm sick, tired, frustrated about this that and the other. Now hold this thought and I'll come back to it in a minute! Next was Zach. He was "Mr. I'm Going to Tell You EXACTLY What You DO NOT Want to Hear" today (and he knows it because I told him so, haha). I saw him before I left campus to head home and I was telling him about this conference that I had to go to today and how it all frustrated me and yada yada...and I said, "I'm just in a bad mood today!" and the poor guy (who probably just wanted to run in the other direction because I'm not fun to be around when I'm in a bad mood) just looked at me. So I drove him over to his apartment and we were chatting before I took off and he started telling me all the reasons I have to be happy: I can walk, talk, function on my own, I have a good life, God loves me, I have lots of people in my life who care a lot about me, and on and on and on. I was attempting to argue with him because I just felt like arguing with him a little bit, but he kept Jesus Juking me! So I finally gave up the arguing and agreed that yes I have many many many MANY reasons to be happy and stop being grumpy. Third thing was on my way home. I was listening to the radio and flipping through the stations and got to Klove and "Blessings" was on...talk about a huge God moment. I often tell Kasee that God will start out speaking to us in a soft whisper and if He needs to He will eventually bring out his baseball bat (my Aunt Yoda tells me that quite frequently). Well I took that as a baseball bat moment. I've heard the song a few times before and it brought me to tears the first time I listened to it. Well it did again today. Specifically these few parts... We pray for wisdom Your voice to hear And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love As if every promise from Your Word is not enough All the while You hear each desperate plea And long that we'd have faith to believe 'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops What if Your healing comes through tears What if a thousand sleepless nights Are what it takes to know You're near And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise I realize I may not be making any sense what-so-ever to anyone else...but it makes sense to me. No this cold/allergies gone wild is not a great trial in my life by any means, that's not what I'm saying. Connecting everything to what Kasee and Zach and this song have said to me though, I got that if people with cancer choose to glorify God even in their position, all of the great things in my life far outweigh the bad, and things are not always going to go the way I want (from Zach, like I said, not what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to hear which is more important) - then there is no reason for me to continue in this pity party, be a giant raincloud, Debby Downer, Negative Nancy, whatever name you'd like to call me. And I appologize to all of you who I may have brought down this week. I'm so blessed and lucky to have the family and friends that I have, and all of the encouragement they constantly bring me! And I'll throw in another song that I heard on the way home that fits my life perfectly - "This Is the Stuff." Today, the "stuff" was all the great people in my life who told me what I did not want to hear, but exactly what I needed to hear. So thanks to you all!