5.23.12

Tonight has been extremely...not good.  Someone told us at our last team meeting for my Myanmar trip that in the next few weeks (a.k.a. last week and this week) that Satan was going to come at us from every angle...they weren't kidding.  I can't find my t-shirt that we all got for this trip...and I have torn my house apart...twice...and I just started balling tonight out of frustration about it.  No it's not like it's a requirement for us to have the shirt on the trip...but that's not the point.  It took something as little as not being able to find a t-shirt to lead me to thinking I am not prepared to go on this trip, wonder about what else I'm going to forget, how am I ever going to pack enough without going over the 15 pound weight limit of my carry-on bag, what if...what if...what if...who knew something as little as not being able to find a t-shirt could turn into such a small crisis? 


Dear Naung Naung, This time next week, I will have met you!  I am so excited that I can hardly stand it!  Dear Myanmar T-Shirt, Feel free to make yourself known at anytime in the next 2 days...thanks.  Dear Heather, You're getting married in 3 days!!!  I am so unbelievably excited for you!!! :) Thank you so much for letting me a part of your big day!  Dear Zach, I expect a huge hug from you Friday night when I see you...this week has not gone so well and I am in need of a hug...or 2...or 7...

Today's Letters

     Dear Cute Elderly Couple at the Lake, You were adorable.  I hope one day to be part of a cute couple just like you two were.  Sorry about your little dog getting away from you, but I'm glad I could help you get him back!  Hope to see you again because you made me smile.  
     Dear Job Applications, I'm tackling you tomorrow night and I will get several of you mailed out before this week is over.  Even if you drive me crazy.  
     Dear Sis, I love you and I miss you and I hope you had a better day today.  You are one of the strongest young ladies that I know!  Heck, you're one of the strongest people I know!  I am always here for you, even if I don't quite know how to help you.  

      Dear Zach, 3 days!!!  Can't wait to see you again.  It does kinda stink that we won't really get to spend a lot of time together until Sunday...and then I'm leaving Monday... :(  Thank you for being here for me, and holding my head up when I can't.  I don't know what I'd do without you.  I love you!  See you soon!!!

    

Crazy Week!

This week has been crazy...and it's only Tuesday. 
I say it's been crazy, let me rephrase - it's going to be crazy. 
For one, I haven't gotten any calls to sub this week (it's the last few weeks of school...I guess teachers do kinda need to be there...but still, I have no money!) other than tomorrow for half a day. 
I am beginning my packing for my trip, and it's stressing me out more than I expected it would...I have 14 pounds and a backpack to take with me...that's it...I guess I'm going to learn how to pack lightly...I have no choice!  
I am in a wedding in 4 days!  I am so excited for one of my best friends, Heather, and I know it's going to be a wonderful day for her and her soon to be husband, Kavan.  It's going to be hot...like 94...and the wedding's outside...yikes!  But I am so excited! 


Despite all of this craziness that seems to be piling up on me, somehow I'm calm...
Sunday was Youth Sunday at my church, and they honored all of the graduates, both high school and college.  So I had to go up in front of my church and tell em who I am and what I'm going to do with my life (even though I don't know at the moment).  Anyways, during the worship, the service, and the gifts we received as graduates, and later that day in talking to the Missions Board - Jeremiah 29:11 was mentioned 7 times...7...Zach and I joke about 7 always being the answer to everything, and I don't think it was ironic that my favorite verse, the verse I try to live by, popped up so many times.  Last night, my mom and I got into a big tiff about my trip...sparing all of the details, I went to Kasee's house to talk, cry, and vent.  When I was leaving her house, as I got into my truck, a lady who had called into KLove was talking about Jeremiah 29:11...I saw it on someone's facebook status this morning...I promise, God, I am listening.  Even though life is crazy at the moment and I don't know where/if I'll have a job come August, I know that God has it all planned out and will let me know what I need to know when I need to know it (say that 5 times fast...).  It's so cool how God keeps reminding me to chill out, He's in control, He's not going to leave me, He's not going to send me somewhere and not protect me.  I have been stuck on the verses in Matthew 6 about worry for the past week...I just about have the whole thing memorized by now.  I'm leaving in 5 days...I have 25 hours of flying to get there...that's not counting the layovers.  I'm kinda freaking out...BUT, every time I start doing the "What if this happens" thing in my mind, it's like God is here and says, "Hey, stop that.  I've got ya covered.  I'm not going to let anything happen to you."  It's so cool and I don't really know how to explain it.  I don't understand how God works sometimes, and there are things about Him we will never understand in this lifetime, and I'm okay with that now.  I am so excited about my trip to Myanmar because I know God is going to do big things.  I know this because of everything that has already happened leading up to this trip.  


It's hard to accept sometimes, but 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, "Rejoice always,  pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  It's actually REALLY hard to accept that sometimes.  But I'm learning that God has a reason for why we go through everything, good or bad.  The bad stuff sucks at times, but in all situations I think He is making us stronger, more dependent on Him, so that we can become more like Him.  One day we'll understand why we had to go through everything bad, hard, sad, whatever.  Right now I think the best thing we can do is trust that God has a good reason for everything in our lives.  Somehow that brings us peace that surpasses our understanding.

May 20

Dear Zach, You are my favorite person ever.  I love how much you make me laugh, smile, and just feel happy!  I can't imagine my life without you.  Dear Kasee, Your present was one of my favorites! "Square root of -1" love it ;) Thank you so much!  Looking forward to a gf date this week sometime!  Dear Jeremiah 29:11, You popped up a total of 10 times today...10...7 times at church alone!  I promise I'm listening.  Dear BFF, You've been gone 45 minutes and I miss you already.  I'm super glad we'll get to spend next weekend together too :) I love you!

May 18

Dear Emotions, Get off of this roller coaster already.  You're starting to bug me.  One minute you have me wanting to scream and then I turn around and you have me wanting to cry.  Come on now.  Dear Grad Party, You're part of the reason I had to write to the previous.  You're stressing me out.  I just want to see people that didn't get to make it to my graduation, as well as some that did make it.  I want you to be fun, not stressful.  Dear Monster Cookie Dough Dip, We're going to be best friends.  I just know it.  Dear Zach, I get to see you TONIGHT!!!!!!!!  I can't wait!  I'm so glad you're going to be here this weekend because you help me not be so stressed and I need that right now.  Be ready to put that giant puzzle together as well my friend!  T-minus 7ish hours until I see you :) I love you with all of my heart!

May 16

Dear SCSD2, I took today off, even posted it on SubFinder...and y'all still called me twice today...I'm glad that you want to give me work, really I am, but I needed today to get a lot of stuff done before Friday gets here...sorry that I ignored all of your calls.  Dear Kasee, I am watching Edward Scissorhands right now...and it made me think of you because I know just how much you love this movie :)  Dear Burmese Orphans, I get to see you in 13 days!!! I will be leaving to fly to your home in 12 days... I am SO EXCITED!!!  I am trying to learn some simple phrases so I can talk to you a little bit.  I have a feeling I'm going to be saying, "Nah ma lay boo" a lot though.  I can already say "Mein go na chit day!" and I know you'll understand that :)  (For those of you who don't know a lick of Burmese, like me, the first phrase means I don't understand and the second phrase means I love you).  Dear Zach,  I'm glad that your first day went well today, at Toyota.  I'm looking forward to the funny stories you're going to have from a summer with a team of jokers!  I think it's going to be a great summer for you there :)  I get to see you in less than 48 now.  I'm excited.  But only a little bit... ;)  I can't wait to hang out with you all weekend!  We're going to have a lot of fun stuff today...make some food, my graduation party, watching Kady and Kody Saturday night, church on Sunday, and all kinds of other stuff.  Random, but yesterday at Cracker Barrel, when we were sitting in the rocking chairs our front before we both left, that is now on my list of top 10 favorite moments we've had :) It was cute.  I see us doing that a lot in about 50 years...except we'll have rocking chairs on our front porch, not just at Cracker Barrel, and we won't live right by the highway...I hope.  I love you!!!

May 13

Dear Mom, Happy Mother's Day!  I'm sorry things have been so crazy lately.  Try not to get discouraged.  It'll all be alright.  Dear Legs, Why are you so sore today?!  I mean, I know I did an hour worth of dancing to my silly songs for Myanmar yesterday...but seriously, you shouldn't hurt this badly.  Dear Future Job,  I wish you would make yourself known...sooner rather than later.  Dear Zach, I was so happy to get to spend the entire day with you yesterday!  It was just what I needed!  Sorry that I was tired and kinda crazy emotional.  Thank you so so much for everything that you do for me.  I'm glad we get to meet for dinner on Tuesday :) I kinda can't wait, actually!

May 10

Kindergarten is much more fun to sub for than 8th grade...just my personal preference, but I'm sticking to it.  For one, I am bigger and scarier than all of them...and they are scared of my height so they listen to me, for the most part.  They aren't all smart aleky, and this makes them much cuter and more fun to be around.  They say the darndest things too!


Today's Letters


Dear Kindergartener who Stroked my Hair and Told Me It was Pretty, You made my day.  Thank you for being so cute!  Dear Tanner and Peyton, I am BEYOND excited that I get to watch you guys this summer in the afternoons.  It is going to be a fun summer!  Dear Kaitie, I'm sorry that I don't get to go on the Big Creek Mission Trip with y'all now.  It makes me really really sad :( But, like I said last night, we'll get to go on a mission trip together sometime, we just don't know when.  Don't worry.  I will still see you this summer and we will talk every single day!  I love you lil sis!  Dear Zach, 2 days my friend, 2 days.  Even though I'll only get to see you for a few hours, it's a few hours I will thoroughly enjoy spending with you.  I miss you.  I love you.  I don't like us both being busy and not able to talk...makes me sad...very sad, indeed.  I love you most! 

May 9

Dear Sub Jobs, Thanks for opening up.  The 8th graders today weren't as bad as I expected them to be.  I'm very excited about working with Kindergarteners tomorrow.  Then back to the middle school on Friday.  Please open up some spots for next week.  It'd be much appreciated!  Dear BF, I miss you...a lot...and it's only been 2 days.  Not even 2 full days!  Gah...this distance thing stinks...a lot.  Dear Myanmar, 19 days.  19.  That's 2 weeks and 5 days.  7 + 7 + 5.  10 + 9.  5 + 5 + 9.  19!!!!  Ahhhhh! I am so incredibly excited.  Dear Zach, Have I mentioned that I miss you?  I had a fantastic weekend with you and your family.  You're my favorite person to hang out with.  It doesn't matter if we're helping with a middle school talent show, walking around WalMart or Sam's Club, working on my truck, or just hanging out watching TV, you're my favorite person to do these things with.  I miss you when we're not together.  Not just when we're 2 hours apart, but even when we were just 2 buildings apart.  It really sucks when one of us gets not-so-good news and we're apart.  I don't know about you, but you're the first person I want to talk to and get a hug from when I get bad news, and good news for that matter!  Not that I'm wishing our lives away, but I'm really looking forward to the days when we get to always come home to each other and don't have to be 2 hours apart for extended periods of time.  I love you!

May 2

Dear MSDMV, I'm sad that you sent me an email informing me you had decided on all of the people to fill the open positions...and I'm not one of them.  Not that I was truly expecting to get an offer from my first ever big girl interview...but hey, I was really really hoping for it since my student teaching experience was so wonderful there.  Keep me in mind for the future...please!  Dear Kasee Michelle, I miss you, friend.  We need a gf date asap.  I'm sorry that I'll be out of town the next two weekends, then the following two will be filled with other plans here in town, or close by at least.  We need to go get ice cream one night.  And I'm excited that you're going to take some pictures for me next week, sometime :) You're the best and I can't wait to see you and catch up on life!  Your blog helps me stay updated, but it's just not the same!  Dear You've Got Mail, You make everything better...except you can't make my bf be here instead of there (yes, dear, I know...it all depends on perception as to whether or not you're here or there...to me you're there and not here and I don't like it).  Dear Zach, I'm sorry your roomies left a big mess for you to pick up...that's no bueno homie.  At least you're done with school and all of your finals!!  Thanks for all of your encouragement, especially with getting that email tonight.  Don't know what I'd do without you.  Only 35 hours until I start your way!!! :)

May 1

Dear First Day of Officially Being a Legit Adult, You weren't too bad.  Although, all of the unpacking I had to do was not so much fun.  It was really weird driving off of campus this morning, out of Evansville, and realizing I won't be going back as a college student...ever.  Yes, I cried, duh.  Dear All of My Stuff, I wish you'd unpack yourself...end of story.  Dear Tomorrow, I hope you aren't incredibly boring... what-with the fingerprinting, orientation, and then a haircut (YES!!) and hopefully some pool time so I can get some color to this skin of mine.  Please be a fun day!  Thank you.  Dear My Love, I am so glad you are in my life.  Your letter just made my day.  Yes, I read it before I was ever out to Schutte...and yes, I may have teared up a little bit while reading it.  I am excited about all of the things we are going to get to do this summer as well :)  I am very happy your apartment situation is going to work out fantastically!  What a blessing that it all happened so quickly and easily!  I miss you already and can't wait for Friday morning! :) Love you with all of my heart!