6/19/12

I have been applying for jobs out the wazoo...I feel like I have applications, cover letters, and resumes coming out of my ears.  I even have started dreaming about these jobs (had a dream I got an offer one night...wasn't happy when I woke up). It is so incredibly frustrating to have applied for 60 jobs (not kidding, at all, not even a little bit, 60 my friends) and have had 1 interview.  
1.  
Uno.  
Dit (that's Burmese). 
1 stinkin' interview.
What am I doing wrong on all of these applications?!  If these schools think I'd be a terrible teacher, I wish they'd just tell me already so I can change the plan for my life and find a new career if that's what I'm going to have to do.  Ugh.  If this were a tweet, I'd throw in a hashtag...actually, I will... #sofrustrated!


Dear God, I am sorry that I am even remotely doubting You and Your abilities to give me the perfect job You have planned for me.  Thanks for loving me despite my ginormous amount of doubt and being frustrated with You for making me wait so much.  Dear Bug That Bit Me Today, You hurt me dude!  And you left me a giant welp on my arm.  Rude.  Dear Distance, You suck and make me not happy.  I don't like you.  We are not friends...at all.  Dear Zach, I miss you.  This week doesn't seem to be starting much better than last week did for us :(  I don't like not getting to see you.  I'm excited to see you this coming weekend, but sad because it really won't be that much.  I'm just not me without you around.  I'm  a much more grouchy person who is not quite as pleasant to be around (just ask anyone who spends a whole lot of time around me, I'm sure they'll agree).  I just want it to work out so we don't have to fight this stupid distance thing for a long time, and I'm afraid it's not going to happen that way and that makes me even grouchier (is that a word?).  So, I'm sorry.  I love you and miss you and can't wait to see you in 5 more days.  Thanks for loving me all the time!

Joy vs Happiness

If you're looking for a happy blog to read, skip this one tonight...sorry. I miss the boyfriend...a lot...this whole distance thing sucks. Our schedules are allowing us to talk more this summer than we got to last summer...but it still stinks. Today wasn't a bad day by any means, ths whole past week has just been weird/rough. I'm still not totally adjusted to being home. I feel like an alien since I've been back. My heart, attitude, and entire demeanor has changed so much thanks to the wonderful people I was blessed to meet and work with in Myanmar...but no one at home can understand just how much of an impact it had. I admit, I didn't understand until I experienced it myself. So my big thought for the evning is this: it's okay to be sad even with God as my source of everything. He never promised things would be easy, or fun. He did promise to never leave us or give us more than we can handle, which brings me great comfort. But tonight it was like He was saying to me, "Don't feel bad about being sad right now...it's okay to be sad." I would have thought after all these years I would have learned to accept the fact that I am not Wonder Woman. I can't do it all and it's okay to not be happy all the time. Not trying to bring anyone else down, just maybe trying to get the point across that express your emotions as you need to. It helps much more than holding it all in.

Myanmar

Woah - where to begin?  Um...Myanmar is now my home away from home, I love it, I miss it, and I want to go back...tomorrow.  It was the best experience of my life.  Better than anything I ever could have asked for or even dreamed of having!  I leaned so much from those kids and leaders - much more than I think I could ever teach or show them.  I saw God's love each and every day, walking all around me, being given to me and everyone else so that we might learn how He wants us to love others.  I learned so much about how to love others, what true worship and service to God looks like - all from children who have nothing.  They were the happiest kids I have ever seen in my life and they were so inspiring to me.  I only wish there was some way I could express my thanks to them for all that they did for me while I was there to serve them!  I feel like I could write a book about the trip...and then some.  I am praying for the opportunity to go back one day soon - sadly I just found out the December trip is now full :(  I know God will get me there when He wants me there again.  He certainly taught me about His faithfulness and how He works out His perfect plans for our lives with this trip.  Jeremiah 29:11 has never seemed to stand out more than right now in my life.  It's still hard when things don't go how I want them to...but I would much rather God's plans prevail for my life than my plans prevail...because I know He already has them written out, has since before he started forming me in my momma, so I think that means He really really cares about and loves me and truly only wants what is best for me.  I am so thankful for being blessed with going to Myanmar.  I hope I get to go back...soon.

This is the little girl Zach sponsors :)

This is the boy I sponsor :)